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Editor’s note: We asked Pureintimacy.org writer Julia Carter to tell us what movies and television shows get wrong about sex. She did. In hilarious detail. We will never watch Melrose Place reruns the same way again. First-thing-in-the-morning sex As seen in: Grey’s Anatomy The sun-dappled sheets, the waking up grinning into each other’s faces, the hushed […]

The post What TV and Movies Get Wrong About Sex appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(7230) "

Editor’s note: We asked Pureintimacy.org writer Julia Carter to tell us what movies and television shows get wrong about sex. She did. In hilarious detail. We will never watch Melrose Place reruns the same way again.

  1. First-thing-in-the-morning sex

    As seen in: Grey’s Anatomy

The sun-dappled sheets, the waking up grinning into each other’s faces, the hushed giggles, the deliciously unhurried lounging. Please. Upon first waking in the morning, I have three urgent, yet basic needs: the need to pee, the need to suck down some caffeine as soon as possible, and, most importantly, the need to not interact with other human beings. Also, I’m not the cutest at this hour; typically an object — often an earring, sometimes a hand — is imprinted into one whole side of my face, flakes of day-old, dried mascara dust my cheeks and my hair is gnarled into a splendid little bird’s nest at the back of my head. You really want a piece of that? I just started typing the sentence “You couldn’t pay me to have sex in this state” but as I was typing it I realized that’s a lie; yes, you could. You could pay me to have sex in this state. But I wouldn’t do it for nothing.

  1. Taxi sex

    As seen in: Dressed to Kill

My thing about taxis is I need to know that the driver is devoting his full attention to the road, which means that when I’m a passenger, I feel compelled to monitor him to make sure he’s not getting distracted by the radio, not distracted by the little walkie-talkie thing, not falling asleep at the wheel. So the last thing I’m going to do, for god’s sake, is give him yet another distraction in the form of backseat sex. If the driver is watching sex through the rearview mirror it’s safe to say he’s not watching the road, and if he’s not watching the road, I am tense. And who can have sex when they’re tense? Onscreen, though, no one ever seems to consider this. Onscreen, drunk and sober people alike are always lost in the moment, entirely worry-free as they sex it up in the back of a careening taxi being driven by basically no one. Oh god, plus the seatbelts! They’re not even wearing seatbelts. NO.

  1. Couch sex

    As seen in: Mad Men

In high school, you’d say to your special friend “Let’s rent a movie,” which meant that the two of you would snuggle up on a couch in someone’s slightly mildew-ridden basement, eat Twizzlers, and then, approximately two-thirds of the way through the movie, start fooling around. You would not leave this couch, despite the fact that the doughy cushions were devouring your bodies like quicksand and despite the fact that it was impossible to find a comfortable position or move your limbs. But this was fine because back then you had nowhere else to go. Plus this was fine because you were bad at sex anyway. But why are so many TV and movie grownups having couch sex these days? Why, pray tell? This is a mystery to me. Couch sex is so cramped. So squishy! So rumpled. Plus someone’s going to get a crick in their neck. I say leave couch sex to the high schoolers. Or, like the civilized adult you are, just use the thing as a place to sit while you go back and watch the last third of all those movies you so sluttily never finished.

  1. Showers

    As seen in: Breathless

I love the way showers equal sex. As if a person taking shower is, in and of itself, an INVITATION to sex. Which apparently it is, because the woman in the shower is never doing a deep conditioning treatment on her hair, never shaving her armpits, never simply taking care of business, but is instead just luxuriating in the wildly sensual feel of the water and waiting for a naked person to join her.

  1. Having food licked off you

    As seen in: 9 1/2 Weeks

The upsides are obvious, but isn’t it Hollywood’s responsibility to show the downsides, too? Like acute stickiness. Ticklish partners/laugh attacks. Dairy residue on breasts (pause to vomit). Stomach ache.

  1. Showing up late at night (for sex) (unannounced)

    As seen in: Sex and the City, Melrose Place, everything

How can it be that onscreen, the visitée is never flustered by this? The gal is never groggy or disoriented, having fallen asleep hours earlier while reading Real Simple in bed, nor is she ever sporting her oversize red T-shirt that says “Wesleyan — four years just ain’t enough!” and tube socks and a glitter headband to keep her bangs out of her eyes. Certainly she is never wearing her retainer*. No, this gal hears the doorbell at 3 am and saunters to the door, totally lucid and totally rocking a cute boy-shorts and cami ensemble, her hair tousled in a sexy-messy way. Who is this gal? I have so many questions for her.

  1. Office sex

    As seen in: Ugly Betty, NCIS, Grey’s Anatomy, Disclosure

Close those blinds, step into a restroom or supply closet if you wish, but, much like with sex in an airplane lav, realize that everyone knows what you’re doing and you are being ruthlessly, savagely mocked. Also, soon you’ll be fired.

  1. Toe nibbling, suckling

    As seen in: Varsity Blues

Jesus. No lady likes this. NO LADY LIKES THIS.

  1. Ripping off clothes

    As seen in: Basic Instinct

Do not rip my clothes!

  1. Smashing things

    As seen in: Mr. and Mrs. Smith

No! What the hell is wrong with you? Were you raised by wolves? Understand this: It does not make the sex any better to smash things. Plus, who can carry on with sex when there are shards of glass everywhere around your naked body? I would find it necessary to pause, sweep up every last piece of glass, vacuum the area for good measure, and then make us both go get some socks. Just in case.

The post What TV and Movies Get Wrong About Sex appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Editor’s note: We asked Pureintimacy.org writer Julia Carter to tell us what movies and television shows get wrong about sex. She did. In hilarious detail. We will never watch Melrose Place reruns the same way again. First-thing-in-the-morning sex As seen in: Grey’s Anatomy The sun-dappled sheets, the waking up grinning into each other’s faces, the hushed […]

The post What TV and Movies Get Wrong About Sex appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(7230) "

Editor’s note: We asked Pureintimacy.org writer Julia Carter to tell us what movies and television shows get wrong about sex. She did. In hilarious detail. We will never watch Melrose Place reruns the same way again.

  1. First-thing-in-the-morning sex

    As seen in: Grey’s Anatomy

The sun-dappled sheets, the waking up grinning into each other’s faces, the hushed giggles, the deliciously unhurried lounging. Please. Upon first waking in the morning, I have three urgent, yet basic needs: the need to pee, the need to suck down some caffeine as soon as possible, and, most importantly, the need to not interact with other human beings. Also, I’m not the cutest at this hour; typically an object — often an earring, sometimes a hand — is imprinted into one whole side of my face, flakes of day-old, dried mascara dust my cheeks and my hair is gnarled into a splendid little bird’s nest at the back of my head. You really want a piece of that? I just started typing the sentence “You couldn’t pay me to have sex in this state” but as I was typing it I realized that’s a lie; yes, you could. You could pay me to have sex in this state. But I wouldn’t do it for nothing.

  1. Taxi sex

    As seen in: Dressed to Kill

My thing about taxis is I need to know that the driver is devoting his full attention to the road, which means that when I’m a passenger, I feel compelled to monitor him to make sure he’s not getting distracted by the radio, not distracted by the little walkie-talkie thing, not falling asleep at the wheel. So the last thing I’m going to do, for god’s sake, is give him yet another distraction in the form of backseat sex. If the driver is watching sex through the rearview mirror it’s safe to say he’s not watching the road, and if he’s not watching the road, I am tense. And who can have sex when they’re tense? Onscreen, though, no one ever seems to consider this. Onscreen, drunk and sober people alike are always lost in the moment, entirely worry-free as they sex it up in the back of a careening taxi being driven by basically no one. Oh god, plus the seatbelts! They’re not even wearing seatbelts. NO.

  1. Couch sex

    As seen in: Mad Men

In high school, you’d say to your special friend “Let’s rent a movie,” which meant that the two of you would snuggle up on a couch in someone’s slightly mildew-ridden basement, eat Twizzlers, and then, approximately two-thirds of the way through the movie, start fooling around. You would not leave this couch, despite the fact that the doughy cushions were devouring your bodies like quicksand and despite the fact that it was impossible to find a comfortable position or move your limbs. But this was fine because back then you had nowhere else to go. Plus this was fine because you were bad at sex anyway. But why are so many TV and movie grownups having couch sex these days? Why, pray tell? This is a mystery to me. Couch sex is so cramped. So squishy! So rumpled. Plus someone’s going to get a crick in their neck. I say leave couch sex to the high schoolers. Or, like the civilized adult you are, just use the thing as a place to sit while you go back and watch the last third of all those movies you so sluttily never finished.

  1. Showers

    As seen in: Breathless

I love the way showers equal sex. As if a person taking shower is, in and of itself, an INVITATION to sex. Which apparently it is, because the woman in the shower is never doing a deep conditioning treatment on her hair, never shaving her armpits, never simply taking care of business, but is instead just luxuriating in the wildly sensual feel of the water and waiting for a naked person to join her.

  1. Having food licked off you

    As seen in: 9 1/2 Weeks

The upsides are obvious, but isn’t it Hollywood’s responsibility to show the downsides, too? Like acute stickiness. Ticklish partners/laugh attacks. Dairy residue on breasts (pause to vomit). Stomach ache.

  1. Showing up late at night (for sex) (unannounced)

    As seen in: Sex and the City, Melrose Place, everything

How can it be that onscreen, the visitée is never flustered by this? The gal is never groggy or disoriented, having fallen asleep hours earlier while reading Real Simple in bed, nor is she ever sporting her oversize red T-shirt that says “Wesleyan — four years just ain’t enough!” and tube socks and a glitter headband to keep her bangs out of her eyes. Certainly she is never wearing her retainer*. No, this gal hears the doorbell at 3 am and saunters to the door, totally lucid and totally rocking a cute boy-shorts and cami ensemble, her hair tousled in a sexy-messy way. Who is this gal? I have so many questions for her.

  1. Office sex

    As seen in: Ugly Betty, NCIS, Grey’s Anatomy, Disclosure

Close those blinds, step into a restroom or supply closet if you wish, but, much like with sex in an airplane lav, realize that everyone knows what you’re doing and you are being ruthlessly, savagely mocked. Also, soon you’ll be fired.

  1. Toe nibbling, suckling

    As seen in: Varsity Blues

Jesus. No lady likes this. NO LADY LIKES THIS.

  1. Ripping off clothes

    As seen in: Basic Instinct

Do not rip my clothes!

  1. Smashing things

    As seen in: Mr. and Mrs. Smith

No! What the hell is wrong with you? Were you raised by wolves? Understand this: It does not make the sex any better to smash things. Plus, who can carry on with sex when there are shards of glass everywhere around your naked body? I would find it necessary to pause, sweep up every last piece of glass, vacuum the area for good measure, and then make us both go get some socks. Just in case.

The post What TV and Movies Get Wrong About Sex appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1620988154) } [1]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(64) "The Latest Facebook Updates That We Can’t Imagine 2021 Without" ["link"]=> string(100) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/13/the-latest-facebook-updates-that-we-cant-imagine-2021-without/" ["comments"]=> string(108) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/13/the-latest-facebook-updates-that-we-cant-imagine-2021-without/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 13 May 2021 14:08:05 +0000" ["category"]=> string(11) "Interesting" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=7559" ["description"]=> string(631) "

We, humans, are inherently social creatures and that is why social networks mean so much for us today. We all want to get likes for Facebook and Instagram, have a stable flow of followers, etc. Despite all the restrictions brought by the COVID-19 crisis and the walls that have been built up between us and […]

The post The Latest Facebook Updates That We Can’t Imagine 2021 Without appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4561) "

We, humans, are inherently social creatures and that is why social networks mean so much for us today. We all want to get likes for Facebook and Instagram, have a stable flow of followers, etc. Despite all the restrictions brought by the COVID-19 crisis and the walls that have been built up between us and many of our friends and relatives, we still have a chance to re-connect.

Since the major communication channel for us remains found in social networks such as Facebook and Instagram, the quality of online communication decides what your relationships will be like the next day, week, or year. Praise God for smart Facebook developers who are consistently at work towards a better app interface, faster reactions, and in general, increased quality of Facebook life.

Today we will look at the most significant updates on Facebook that will help us interact this year.

New Music Search Tools, Graphics, and Designs for Brands: Is There More to Expect?

Besides messaging, receiving news feed, and making video calls, Facebook is known to offer a variety of other things: shopping opportunities, new gaming features with no need for downloading games, and many other surprising additions and improvements. To have a fuller list of novelties, see Facebook news.

‘Music’ button on Facebook Watch.

With this feature, you no longer need to leave Facebook to check out the fresh official videos released by your fav bands. What is especially capturing our hearts is that you can find a premiere composition to match your mood and even physical state (pressing ‘hungry’) to enjoy the recommendation. You will be surprised how well Facebook knows you.

Uprising business categories.

Now, big and small businesses and non-profit organizations can find the necessary resources on Facebook, in particular through Social Good Hub. The tool will help you develop your brand and create a team even if you don’t possess any special skills for doing it.

Inspiring designs.

The newly launched app named E.gg now opens up endless possibilities for either editing ready designs or creating images for fan pages, making gifs, collages, and infographics that can be shared instantly by giving a person access by the picture’s address. In 2021, it is anticipated that the app will gain new features allowing more in the beta version.

New tools for collaboration.

The Brand Collabs Manager is available for everyone to include in the public group. By connecting and bringing together artists, social workers, commercials, and education organizations, this Facebook tool will give way to a greater impact and learning to act together rather than be rivals. This also includes more effective ads (read more about them in Help Center)

Better safety features (at last!).

Who didn’t complain of spam in public groups on Facebook? Anyway, if you did, they (whoever was behind it) had a hundred chances to create new groups. Today, Facebook tool developers have overcome this – groups that were shut down will have no rights to resurrect, doubtful groups will disappear from recommendations, pages promoting violence will be limited by the renewed policy for Community Standards.

Personalized avatar stickers.

Perhaps, this novelty belongs to the ‘less serious’ type of updates but many of you will surely appreciate it. Having a cartoon version of yourself in the form of stickers has already caused massive excitement so can you imagine what effect it will have later when improved even more?

A photo tool making 3D images.

The new technology can turn any 2D photo into a masterpiece of art. The finished 3D image will be easy to rotate and tilt and watch without special equipment.

All of these tools are worthy updates that grant greater convenience, productivity, and engagement on social media. While not all might be available around the world right now, we hope we all will see them soon.

The post The Latest Facebook Updates That We Can’t Imagine 2021 Without appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(105) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/13/the-latest-facebook-updates-that-we-cant-imagine-2021-without/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(631) "

We, humans, are inherently social creatures and that is why social networks mean so much for us today. We all want to get likes for Facebook and Instagram, have a stable flow of followers, etc. Despite all the restrictions brought by the COVID-19 crisis and the walls that have been built up between us and […]

The post The Latest Facebook Updates That We Can’t Imagine 2021 Without appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4561) "

We, humans, are inherently social creatures and that is why social networks mean so much for us today. We all want to get likes for Facebook and Instagram, have a stable flow of followers, etc. Despite all the restrictions brought by the COVID-19 crisis and the walls that have been built up between us and many of our friends and relatives, we still have a chance to re-connect.

Since the major communication channel for us remains found in social networks such as Facebook and Instagram, the quality of online communication decides what your relationships will be like the next day, week, or year. Praise God for smart Facebook developers who are consistently at work towards a better app interface, faster reactions, and in general, increased quality of Facebook life.

Today we will look at the most significant updates on Facebook that will help us interact this year.

New Music Search Tools, Graphics, and Designs for Brands: Is There More to Expect?

Besides messaging, receiving news feed, and making video calls, Facebook is known to offer a variety of other things: shopping opportunities, new gaming features with no need for downloading games, and many other surprising additions and improvements. To have a fuller list of novelties, see Facebook news.

‘Music’ button on Facebook Watch.

With this feature, you no longer need to leave Facebook to check out the fresh official videos released by your fav bands. What is especially capturing our hearts is that you can find a premiere composition to match your mood and even physical state (pressing ‘hungry’) to enjoy the recommendation. You will be surprised how well Facebook knows you.

Uprising business categories.

Now, big and small businesses and non-profit organizations can find the necessary resources on Facebook, in particular through Social Good Hub. The tool will help you develop your brand and create a team even if you don’t possess any special skills for doing it.

Inspiring designs.

The newly launched app named E.gg now opens up endless possibilities for either editing ready designs or creating images for fan pages, making gifs, collages, and infographics that can be shared instantly by giving a person access by the picture’s address. In 2021, it is anticipated that the app will gain new features allowing more in the beta version.

New tools for collaboration.

The Brand Collabs Manager is available for everyone to include in the public group. By connecting and bringing together artists, social workers, commercials, and education organizations, this Facebook tool will give way to a greater impact and learning to act together rather than be rivals. This also includes more effective ads (read more about them in Help Center)

Better safety features (at last!).

Who didn’t complain of spam in public groups on Facebook? Anyway, if you did, they (whoever was behind it) had a hundred chances to create new groups. Today, Facebook tool developers have overcome this – groups that were shut down will have no rights to resurrect, doubtful groups will disappear from recommendations, pages promoting violence will be limited by the renewed policy for Community Standards.

Personalized avatar stickers.

Perhaps, this novelty belongs to the ‘less serious’ type of updates but many of you will surely appreciate it. Having a cartoon version of yourself in the form of stickers has already caused massive excitement so can you imagine what effect it will have later when improved even more?

A photo tool making 3D images.

The new technology can turn any 2D photo into a masterpiece of art. The finished 3D image will be easy to rotate and tilt and watch without special equipment.

All of these tools are worthy updates that grant greater convenience, productivity, and engagement on social media. While not all might be available around the world right now, we hope we all will see them soon.

The post The Latest Facebook Updates That We Can’t Imagine 2021 Without appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1620914885) } [2]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(47) "Dating Tips for Finding the Right Person Online" ["link"]=> string(86) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/13/dating-tips-for-finding-the-right-person-online/" ["comments"]=> string(94) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/13/dating-tips-for-finding-the-right-person-online/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 13 May 2021 14:04:02 +0000" ["category"]=> string(19) "Relationship Advice" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=7556" ["description"]=> string(601) "

Online dating is a popular and effective way to find matches. Although the method is great, some people struggle to connect in cyberspace. Learning how to find the right person can make all the difference. Take a look at these six valuable tips on how you can meet and impress someone online. Keep things in […]

The post Dating Tips for Finding the Right Person Online appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(3820) "

Online dating is a popular and effective way to find matches. Although the method is great, some people struggle to connect in cyberspace. Learning how to find the right person can make all the difference. Take a look at these six valuable tips on how you can meet and impress someone online.

  1. Keep things in perspective

When you are dating online, you must remember to maintain perspective on the situation. What does that mean? Basically, you must remember that there are limitations to the haste with which a relationship can develop. You must also remember that talking to someone does not equate to being “steady” with that individual. Online dating is a completely different sort of romantic interaction compared with in-person outcomes.

  1. Try a dating site to meet a like-minded person

Dating sites provide you with a perfect way to meet someone that shares your interests in life. Users on Seekmeetdate frequently mention that using the profile searching tools to seek out people that enjoy traveling, learning new things, and cooking help them find partners with ease. This process would take far longer without using the interactivity of a dating service to seek dates.

  1. Build a genuine connection

Another important step to take when you are looking for dates online is to look for genuine connections. Some people try to force relationships to work because they are merely attracted to another person. That is not a good way to go about getting a proper romance to work. Instead, you should check to see that you both have enough in common to carry the relationship and work together as a team.

  1. Put a priority on having fun

When you talk to someone that is about to go on a date for the first time, you would think that they are going to be interviewed by the police. They lose all sense of having fun on the date and focus on the negative, stressful aspects. Instead of that, you should ensure that you always focus on having a good time with your partner. Chat, flirt, and make each other laugh. That is the only way for you both to let down your guard a little bit and have a great time.

  1. Trust your partner

Dating online comes with a little more baggage than dating someone in person. The truth is that you have to take people at their word when you meet them online. Instead of looking to poke holes in their life story, you should learn to trust your partner in all things. So, sit back and learn about their past and welcome their life into your own. That is a far better approach than to be suspicious about everything.

  1. Accept rejection simply

Lastly, you should accept rejections when they happen. Many people believe that rejection on a date is a poor reflection upon themselves, but that is not always the case. Most of the time, it’s just a sign that the two of you are not compatible. It is far better to end a relationship before it gets serious rather than let it play out if it’s obvious that you do not belong together. Do not whine, cry, or threaten—move on with your life like a grown adult.

The post Dating Tips for Finding the Right Person Online appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Online dating is a popular and effective way to find matches. Although the method is great, some people struggle to connect in cyberspace. Learning how to find the right person can make all the difference. Take a look at these six valuable tips on how you can meet and impress someone online. Keep things in […]

The post Dating Tips for Finding the Right Person Online appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(3820) "

Online dating is a popular and effective way to find matches. Although the method is great, some people struggle to connect in cyberspace. Learning how to find the right person can make all the difference. Take a look at these six valuable tips on how you can meet and impress someone online.

  1. Keep things in perspective

When you are dating online, you must remember to maintain perspective on the situation. What does that mean? Basically, you must remember that there are limitations to the haste with which a relationship can develop. You must also remember that talking to someone does not equate to being “steady” with that individual. Online dating is a completely different sort of romantic interaction compared with in-person outcomes.

  1. Try a dating site to meet a like-minded person

Dating sites provide you with a perfect way to meet someone that shares your interests in life. Users on Seekmeetdate frequently mention that using the profile searching tools to seek out people that enjoy traveling, learning new things, and cooking help them find partners with ease. This process would take far longer without using the interactivity of a dating service to seek dates.

  1. Build a genuine connection

Another important step to take when you are looking for dates online is to look for genuine connections. Some people try to force relationships to work because they are merely attracted to another person. That is not a good way to go about getting a proper romance to work. Instead, you should check to see that you both have enough in common to carry the relationship and work together as a team.

  1. Put a priority on having fun

When you talk to someone that is about to go on a date for the first time, you would think that they are going to be interviewed by the police. They lose all sense of having fun on the date and focus on the negative, stressful aspects. Instead of that, you should ensure that you always focus on having a good time with your partner. Chat, flirt, and make each other laugh. That is the only way for you both to let down your guard a little bit and have a great time.

  1. Trust your partner

Dating online comes with a little more baggage than dating someone in person. The truth is that you have to take people at their word when you meet them online. Instead of looking to poke holes in their life story, you should learn to trust your partner in all things. So, sit back and learn about their past and welcome their life into your own. That is a far better approach than to be suspicious about everything.

  1. Accept rejection simply

Lastly, you should accept rejections when they happen. Many people believe that rejection on a date is a poor reflection upon themselves, but that is not always the case. Most of the time, it’s just a sign that the two of you are not compatible. It is far better to end a relationship before it gets serious rather than let it play out if it’s obvious that you do not belong together. Do not whine, cry, or threaten—move on with your life like a grown adult.

The post Dating Tips for Finding the Right Person Online appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1620914642) } [3]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(51) "5 Things That Make You “Beta” in a Relationship" ["link"]=> string(84) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/10/5-things-that-make-you-beta-in-a-relationship/" ["comments"]=> string(92) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/10/5-things-that-make-you-beta-in-a-relationship/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 10 May 2021 16:12:00 +0000" ["category"]=> string(19) "Relationship Advice" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=7547" ["description"]=> string(613) "

1. Making the Girl the Most Important Thing in Your Life No girl wants to be everything in your life. Stop projecting. This happens all the time. Guys, seriously – as soon as you’ve made her your priority, you become useless to her as a leader who has direction, masculinity, clarity, purpose, and other qualities […]

The post 5 Things That Make You “Beta” in a Relationship appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(8685) "

1. Making the Girl the Most Important Thing in Your Life

No girl wants to be everything in your life. Stop projecting.

This happens all the time. Guys, seriously – as soon as you’ve made her your priority, you become useless to her as a leader who has direction, masculinity, clarity, purpose, and other qualities that she’s actually looking for in a man. I know there’s a tendency to want to treat her like a little princess, but she can’t be the reason that you’re alive, consuming your thoughts and feelings throughout the day.

Women feel disgusted by men who treat them as the most important thing in their lives. Think about Harrison Ford going off to fight a war for his country – he doesn’t want to, he loves his woman, but he knows that his duty is more important. How lame would that movie have been if he was like, “Okay babe, I’ll just sit here at home with you, because you are more important to me than anything else.” That doesn’t mean it’s easy, it just means that you should look beyond the boundaries of your relationship to give you meaning in your life.

2. Repressing Anger and Hurt

This is the most reactive thing a guy will do in a relationship, without even knowing he’s doing it.

Sometimes your girl doesn’t do what you want her to. You want to protect her from something, and so you tell her to do this or that, and then she doesn’t. It feels to you like she’s being disrespectful, like she doesn’t care. You feel enraged, you feel hurt – your expectations of her as being so loyal have been violated. But what are you going to do about it?

It’s not like you can kick her ass for disrespecting you. Sometimes girls just do that, sometimes they’re testing you, pushing those boundaries. And sometimes they can just see past your insecurities and will do what they know is right regardless of what you have to say about it. When you repress your frustration about this, that anger stays there. You learn to back down. You hypnotize yourself to think that what you say doesn’t matter. After years of this, men realize they have no backbone left – and by then it’s too late.

Work out your emotional problems with yourself. Your woman isn’t your therapist, so don’t sit and try to talk it out with her, find other solutions. What do you need to do to make sure that no matter whether your woman follows you or not, you will always have respect for yourself and the freedom to let her do what she wants. A lot of this is about trust and letting go. Learn to trust her, and let go of wanting to control her experience (as if you ever could). Just because she doesn’t do what you want doesn’t mean that she doesn’t trust and have respect for you. The girl has to learn some time, so set her free to do that – it’s your role to lead, not to control.

3. Too Much “Out-Alpha” Behavior

When we’re in the dating game, we practice and, in a way, get addicted to showing our value to be higher than the guys around us. When you’re out in a nightclub chatting to a girl and she’s into you, if another guy comes up and tries to snake her from you, you pick her up and carry her away from him. You make fun of his stupid shirt. You tell your girl that he’s weird and that you should leave. Most of the time this behavior is way inappropriate in a relationship.

Girls have guys as friends. When you’re in a relationship you need to respect that, and you can’t be trying to out-perform those friends whenever they’re around. When you know that one of her friends has feelings for her, the instinct is just to remove him, to eclipse him as best you can – but she’s not going to understand that. If you’re insecure about the situation, she’s going to see through your attempts and feel the jealousy underneath it. If you’re just doing it out of habit, then she’ll get angry at you for trying to isolate her and it’ll come across as possessive. Furthermore, those guys will start to complain about you to her whenever you’re not around. Out of their own neediness, they’ll call you needy and frame you as over-protective. I understand that this is a major problem for guys transitioning from the player lifestyle to a relationship, I’ve definitely been there.

4. Lowering Your Emotional State to Cheer Her Up

Girls get upset, they cry. Sometimes it’s funny to see a girl you don’t care about get hysterical about something, but when it’s your girlfriend who you love, it’s easy to get caught up in that too. In order to bring her out of that, the tendency is to lower your state to get onto her level. You want to show how much you care, and you do that by becoming sad or upset yourself – but ultimately you’re just weakening her perception of you, and that is counter-productive.

Sometimes girls will cry in front of their boyfriends just so they can feel vulnerable in front of them. It’s a huge turn-on for girls to feel like they can collapse and a guy will be able to strong enough comfort them and endure that. But if you’re collapsing yourself whenever she goes there, even in order to show how much you care, she’s just going to feel like you don’t have any solidarity and clarity. She’ll end up not trusting you. She doesn’t want you to be the one who’s looking up to her and telling her how much you care, she just wants you to be stable enough to love her through that, with humor and freedom. So stop making yourself weaker whenever she freaks out. Stand on your own two feet.

5. Losing Your Polarity to Get Consistency Or Excitement Out of the Relationship

Oftentimes guys will see their girl when she’s in a “busy” mood, unexcited and taking things too seriously. You want to cheer her up and feel that radiance of hers, so you try to be bright and radiant yourself. This is extremely unattractive. A better method is to “outdo” her in the seriousness. If you don’t understand this, it’s because you haven’t got a good enough grip on sexual polarity yet. Guys aren’t meant to be the sunshine in their woman’s life, they’re meant to be the rock and the stable lover who she respects. If you’re taking the sunshine role, you’re actually flipping the polarity, and making her feel like she needs to be the more stable one.

Sometimes femininity is scary to a guy. When a girl’s emotions are changing all the time, you feel like you need to control that. You can’t just accept it as it is. Well, in that case you’re actually just reacting to her behavior, and it’s making her feel like she can’t be herself around you. Then when she’s with you she actually does try to be more stable, because she feels like you can’t handle that more passionate side of her. This is the greatest way to bring all of the excitement out of your relationship. If you want a girl to be a consistent friend to you, go find someone else besides your sexual partner.

If you’re doing this stuff, you’re going to miss out on the greatest pleasure that a woman can give you, which is from her feminine beauty. When she smiles it makes you feel amazing inside – there’s something akin to light emanating from her. If she’s not exciting you, it’s probably because you aren’t being that grounding energy that she needs to have in her life in order to feel that way.

The post 5 Things That Make You “Beta” in a Relationship appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(89) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/10/5-things-that-make-you-beta-in-a-relationship/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(613) "

1. Making the Girl the Most Important Thing in Your Life No girl wants to be everything in your life. Stop projecting. This happens all the time. Guys, seriously – as soon as you’ve made her your priority, you become useless to her as a leader who has direction, masculinity, clarity, purpose, and other qualities […]

The post 5 Things That Make You “Beta” in a Relationship appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(8685) "

1. Making the Girl the Most Important Thing in Your Life

No girl wants to be everything in your life. Stop projecting.

This happens all the time. Guys, seriously – as soon as you’ve made her your priority, you become useless to her as a leader who has direction, masculinity, clarity, purpose, and other qualities that she’s actually looking for in a man. I know there’s a tendency to want to treat her like a little princess, but she can’t be the reason that you’re alive, consuming your thoughts and feelings throughout the day.

Women feel disgusted by men who treat them as the most important thing in their lives. Think about Harrison Ford going off to fight a war for his country – he doesn’t want to, he loves his woman, but he knows that his duty is more important. How lame would that movie have been if he was like, “Okay babe, I’ll just sit here at home with you, because you are more important to me than anything else.” That doesn’t mean it’s easy, it just means that you should look beyond the boundaries of your relationship to give you meaning in your life.

2. Repressing Anger and Hurt

This is the most reactive thing a guy will do in a relationship, without even knowing he’s doing it.

Sometimes your girl doesn’t do what you want her to. You want to protect her from something, and so you tell her to do this or that, and then she doesn’t. It feels to you like she’s being disrespectful, like she doesn’t care. You feel enraged, you feel hurt – your expectations of her as being so loyal have been violated. But what are you going to do about it?

It’s not like you can kick her ass for disrespecting you. Sometimes girls just do that, sometimes they’re testing you, pushing those boundaries. And sometimes they can just see past your insecurities and will do what they know is right regardless of what you have to say about it. When you repress your frustration about this, that anger stays there. You learn to back down. You hypnotize yourself to think that what you say doesn’t matter. After years of this, men realize they have no backbone left – and by then it’s too late.

Work out your emotional problems with yourself. Your woman isn’t your therapist, so don’t sit and try to talk it out with her, find other solutions. What do you need to do to make sure that no matter whether your woman follows you or not, you will always have respect for yourself and the freedom to let her do what she wants. A lot of this is about trust and letting go. Learn to trust her, and let go of wanting to control her experience (as if you ever could). Just because she doesn’t do what you want doesn’t mean that she doesn’t trust and have respect for you. The girl has to learn some time, so set her free to do that – it’s your role to lead, not to control.

3. Too Much “Out-Alpha” Behavior

When we’re in the dating game, we practice and, in a way, get addicted to showing our value to be higher than the guys around us. When you’re out in a nightclub chatting to a girl and she’s into you, if another guy comes up and tries to snake her from you, you pick her up and carry her away from him. You make fun of his stupid shirt. You tell your girl that he’s weird and that you should leave. Most of the time this behavior is way inappropriate in a relationship.

Girls have guys as friends. When you’re in a relationship you need to respect that, and you can’t be trying to out-perform those friends whenever they’re around. When you know that one of her friends has feelings for her, the instinct is just to remove him, to eclipse him as best you can – but she’s not going to understand that. If you’re insecure about the situation, she’s going to see through your attempts and feel the jealousy underneath it. If you’re just doing it out of habit, then she’ll get angry at you for trying to isolate her and it’ll come across as possessive. Furthermore, those guys will start to complain about you to her whenever you’re not around. Out of their own neediness, they’ll call you needy and frame you as over-protective. I understand that this is a major problem for guys transitioning from the player lifestyle to a relationship, I’ve definitely been there.

4. Lowering Your Emotional State to Cheer Her Up

Girls get upset, they cry. Sometimes it’s funny to see a girl you don’t care about get hysterical about something, but when it’s your girlfriend who you love, it’s easy to get caught up in that too. In order to bring her out of that, the tendency is to lower your state to get onto her level. You want to show how much you care, and you do that by becoming sad or upset yourself – but ultimately you’re just weakening her perception of you, and that is counter-productive.

Sometimes girls will cry in front of their boyfriends just so they can feel vulnerable in front of them. It’s a huge turn-on for girls to feel like they can collapse and a guy will be able to strong enough comfort them and endure that. But if you’re collapsing yourself whenever she goes there, even in order to show how much you care, she’s just going to feel like you don’t have any solidarity and clarity. She’ll end up not trusting you. She doesn’t want you to be the one who’s looking up to her and telling her how much you care, she just wants you to be stable enough to love her through that, with humor and freedom. So stop making yourself weaker whenever she freaks out. Stand on your own two feet.

5. Losing Your Polarity to Get Consistency Or Excitement Out of the Relationship

Oftentimes guys will see their girl when she’s in a “busy” mood, unexcited and taking things too seriously. You want to cheer her up and feel that radiance of hers, so you try to be bright and radiant yourself. This is extremely unattractive. A better method is to “outdo” her in the seriousness. If you don’t understand this, it’s because you haven’t got a good enough grip on sexual polarity yet. Guys aren’t meant to be the sunshine in their woman’s life, they’re meant to be the rock and the stable lover who she respects. If you’re taking the sunshine role, you’re actually flipping the polarity, and making her feel like she needs to be the more stable one.

Sometimes femininity is scary to a guy. When a girl’s emotions are changing all the time, you feel like you need to control that. You can’t just accept it as it is. Well, in that case you’re actually just reacting to her behavior, and it’s making her feel like she can’t be herself around you. Then when she’s with you she actually does try to be more stable, because she feels like you can’t handle that more passionate side of her. This is the greatest way to bring all of the excitement out of your relationship. If you want a girl to be a consistent friend to you, go find someone else besides your sexual partner.

If you’re doing this stuff, you’re going to miss out on the greatest pleasure that a woman can give you, which is from her feminine beauty. When she smiles it makes you feel amazing inside – there’s something akin to light emanating from her. If she’s not exciting you, it’s probably because you aren’t being that grounding energy that she needs to have in her life in order to feel that way.

The post 5 Things That Make You “Beta” in a Relationship appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1620663120) } [4]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(39) "Is Sending Flowers to a Girl Seductive?" ["link"]=> string(77) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/10/is-sending-flowers-to-a-girl-seductive/" ["comments"]=> string(85) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/10/is-sending-flowers-to-a-girl-seductive/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 10 May 2021 15:59:19 +0000" ["category"]=> string(19) "Relationship Advice" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=7543" ["description"]=> string(593) "

It’s a tradition that has spanned centuries and has been symbolized in many cultures as being the ultimate romantic gesture, that of giving flowers to a woman. However, in this age of rising skepticism and declining chivalry, the act of sending flowers to a girl has raised some debate amongst many in the world of […]

The post Is Sending Flowers to a Girl Seductive? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(7649) "

It’s a tradition that has spanned centuries and has been symbolized in many cultures as being the ultimate romantic gesture, that of giving flowers to a woman. However, in this age of rising skepticism and declining chivalry, the act of sending flowers to a girl has raised some debate amongst many in the world of dating. Of course, there are those that still wholly support this tradition and those that have written it off as a symbolic artifact.

So what is right? Is sending flowers to a girl still attractive? To help gain some perspective, I present to you, the dueling bloggers:

Advantages of Sending Flowers To a Woman

Most girls really don’t know what they want. Even when they think they do it’s always left up to the man that sweeps them off with spontaneity and special little surprises that ends up with the winning hand. Because women really don’t want you to follow any guidelines on how to care of their needs, and they really don’t want you to try to be something that you’re not. Women want you to make it happen. And just like many other things in life, whether it’s business, life decisions, or in this case women – making it happen is what a man is supposed to do.

A lot of people think flowers are outdated, or too old-fashioned, and it is true that you can’t just pull a simple flower delivery out of no where and expect to make progress with a woman. As a matter of fact it’s probably a good way to halt any good vibes that have been taking place. After all it is not the flowers that make the man but the man that makes the flowers. No matter who you are or who you are trying to secure being with, giving the gift of some nice flowers needs to happen at least once no matter how you end up doing it, and there are a hundred and ten different reasons for that. Here are a couple.

The Movies

From the first day a little girl ever watches a romantic movie to the first day she begins dating, the simple idea that a man cares for her if he gives her flowers has been planted in her mind approximately 1 billion times through media avenues like television, magazines, the internet, and movies. Every girl in the world has dreamed about the romantic scene in the movies where the red rose pedals lead to the bed where all the magic takes place. And every girl wishes that it happens at least once – you just have to be sure your not over doing it. Remember: Flowers enhance, not repair.

Creativity

Nothing is less effective then sending flowers when a woman is already expecting them. But nothing is more effective then sending them when they don’t. Being spontaneous and creative is the key. If you do it at the right moment, the simple fact that you have gone out of your way to please her can be a huge bonus, but at the wrong moment it can be a terrible crutch. You should think about sending flowers when you’re in trouble, after your first great experience, and of course the whole Valentine’s day and birthday thing is always a good idea. Woman also love when you send flowers to their office. They feel like the luckiest woman on earth when you do so! These few scenarios are always a good way to to keep the old tradition going but to make an old tradition new and exciting you have to be creative – send them when they’re least expecting!

Real seductiveness is about getting creative in a way that truly pleases the mind, body, and soul. Honesty and good intentions are really what everybody wants. Giving flowers is all about planting seeds, and more men have been seductive doing this simple nice gesture in all of the years that it has been done than in any other way.

Disadvantages of Sending a Girl Flowers

Years ago, many of my colleagues were attractive females in their mid to late 20s, all on the verge of finding that one special guy to settle down with, get married and have a litter of babies. And that dream was never more apparent when a flower delivery guy would show up and all the girls swooned to the recipient’s office to ask in unison, “Who are they from?” Indeed, “who” being the one crucial question and for good reason.

One day, a cute red headed copywriter in the next office received a giant arrangement of flowers from a secret admirer. This created quite a bit of speculation amongst the office hens over the following days as to who the admirer was. The popular candidate being the dashingly hunky alpha male security guard downstairs. Well, I just happened to know the truth; that the flowers actually came from a male colleague who was a lonely heart nice guy in his 40s, overweight, awkward and desperately in love. When he finally revealed himself, he was crushed; she gave him the “Let’s just be friends,” talk and proceeded to date the hunky security guard a few weeks later.

Though Hollywood has indeed pummeled the images of romanticism and the act of giving flowers into the minds of every woman since the inception of television, those images are always of the protagonist hero male and never the nerdy side kick. Truth be told, flowers are not a seed to begin the process of sweeping a girl off her feet, they are a mere byproduct of the fairy tale prince. Flowers do nothing for a man unless he has game, unless he has the ingrained fundamentals of attraction and seduction, which leads me to my next caveat.

If a man can gain attraction without sending flowers, then what’s the point? Perhaps this romantic spontaneous act of supplication isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. I would even argue that it’s really more an act of a desperate needy man who’s only dating strategy is to put his girl on a giant pedestal, showering her with flowers, and praying to get lucky. We have seen this particular gambit fail many times as it is continuously perpetuated by an army of nice guys.

And is sending flowers really all that creative and spontaneous? Not really, not when any man can simply dole out a wad of cash at his corner florist in the hopes of buying some affection. It’s the easy way out when there are far more alternative ideas for seducing women than this particular last ditch attempt.

In the end, who are you going to trust, Hollywood or natural biological human instinct? Hollywood has it’s money on the beta males, but I have mine on the Alphas.

So there you have it folks, a worthy debate for the modern age of courtship.

What are your thoughts, opinions and stories on the topic of sending flowers to a woman, which is right?

The post Is Sending Flowers to a Girl Seductive? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(82) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/10/is-sending-flowers-to-a-girl-seductive/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(593) "

It’s a tradition that has spanned centuries and has been symbolized in many cultures as being the ultimate romantic gesture, that of giving flowers to a woman. However, in this age of rising skepticism and declining chivalry, the act of sending flowers to a girl has raised some debate amongst many in the world of […]

The post Is Sending Flowers to a Girl Seductive? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(7649) "

It’s a tradition that has spanned centuries and has been symbolized in many cultures as being the ultimate romantic gesture, that of giving flowers to a woman. However, in this age of rising skepticism and declining chivalry, the act of sending flowers to a girl has raised some debate amongst many in the world of dating. Of course, there are those that still wholly support this tradition and those that have written it off as a symbolic artifact.

So what is right? Is sending flowers to a girl still attractive? To help gain some perspective, I present to you, the dueling bloggers:

Advantages of Sending Flowers To a Woman

Most girls really don’t know what they want. Even when they think they do it’s always left up to the man that sweeps them off with spontaneity and special little surprises that ends up with the winning hand. Because women really don’t want you to follow any guidelines on how to care of their needs, and they really don’t want you to try to be something that you’re not. Women want you to make it happen. And just like many other things in life, whether it’s business, life decisions, or in this case women – making it happen is what a man is supposed to do.

A lot of people think flowers are outdated, or too old-fashioned, and it is true that you can’t just pull a simple flower delivery out of no where and expect to make progress with a woman. As a matter of fact it’s probably a good way to halt any good vibes that have been taking place. After all it is not the flowers that make the man but the man that makes the flowers. No matter who you are or who you are trying to secure being with, giving the gift of some nice flowers needs to happen at least once no matter how you end up doing it, and there are a hundred and ten different reasons for that. Here are a couple.

The Movies

From the first day a little girl ever watches a romantic movie to the first day she begins dating, the simple idea that a man cares for her if he gives her flowers has been planted in her mind approximately 1 billion times through media avenues like television, magazines, the internet, and movies. Every girl in the world has dreamed about the romantic scene in the movies where the red rose pedals lead to the bed where all the magic takes place. And every girl wishes that it happens at least once – you just have to be sure your not over doing it. Remember: Flowers enhance, not repair.

Creativity

Nothing is less effective then sending flowers when a woman is already expecting them. But nothing is more effective then sending them when they don’t. Being spontaneous and creative is the key. If you do it at the right moment, the simple fact that you have gone out of your way to please her can be a huge bonus, but at the wrong moment it can be a terrible crutch. You should think about sending flowers when you’re in trouble, after your first great experience, and of course the whole Valentine’s day and birthday thing is always a good idea. Woman also love when you send flowers to their office. They feel like the luckiest woman on earth when you do so! These few scenarios are always a good way to to keep the old tradition going but to make an old tradition new and exciting you have to be creative – send them when they’re least expecting!

Real seductiveness is about getting creative in a way that truly pleases the mind, body, and soul. Honesty and good intentions are really what everybody wants. Giving flowers is all about planting seeds, and more men have been seductive doing this simple nice gesture in all of the years that it has been done than in any other way.

Disadvantages of Sending a Girl Flowers

Years ago, many of my colleagues were attractive females in their mid to late 20s, all on the verge of finding that one special guy to settle down with, get married and have a litter of babies. And that dream was never more apparent when a flower delivery guy would show up and all the girls swooned to the recipient’s office to ask in unison, “Who are they from?” Indeed, “who” being the one crucial question and for good reason.

One day, a cute red headed copywriter in the next office received a giant arrangement of flowers from a secret admirer. This created quite a bit of speculation amongst the office hens over the following days as to who the admirer was. The popular candidate being the dashingly hunky alpha male security guard downstairs. Well, I just happened to know the truth; that the flowers actually came from a male colleague who was a lonely heart nice guy in his 40s, overweight, awkward and desperately in love. When he finally revealed himself, he was crushed; she gave him the “Let’s just be friends,” talk and proceeded to date the hunky security guard a few weeks later.

Though Hollywood has indeed pummeled the images of romanticism and the act of giving flowers into the minds of every woman since the inception of television, those images are always of the protagonist hero male and never the nerdy side kick. Truth be told, flowers are not a seed to begin the process of sweeping a girl off her feet, they are a mere byproduct of the fairy tale prince. Flowers do nothing for a man unless he has game, unless he has the ingrained fundamentals of attraction and seduction, which leads me to my next caveat.

If a man can gain attraction without sending flowers, then what’s the point? Perhaps this romantic spontaneous act of supplication isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. I would even argue that it’s really more an act of a desperate needy man who’s only dating strategy is to put his girl on a giant pedestal, showering her with flowers, and praying to get lucky. We have seen this particular gambit fail many times as it is continuously perpetuated by an army of nice guys.

And is sending flowers really all that creative and spontaneous? Not really, not when any man can simply dole out a wad of cash at his corner florist in the hopes of buying some affection. It’s the easy way out when there are far more alternative ideas for seducing women than this particular last ditch attempt.

In the end, who are you going to trust, Hollywood or natural biological human instinct? Hollywood has it’s money on the beta males, but I have mine on the Alphas.

So there you have it folks, a worthy debate for the modern age of courtship.

What are your thoughts, opinions and stories on the topic of sending flowers to a woman, which is right?

The post Is Sending Flowers to a Girl Seductive? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1620662359) } [5]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(16) "Money = Freedom?" ["link"]=> string(52) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/10/money-freedom/" ["comments"]=> string(60) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/10/money-freedom/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(14) "Shannon Fisher" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 10 May 2021 15:04:33 +0000" ["category"]=> string(15) "Personal Growth" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=7540" ["description"]=> string(503) "

Money equals freedom. You have enough money, and you can do whatever you want. We all know that, right? Work hard so that you can get a good job so that you can make money so that you can do whatever you want. As my 12-year old son loves to say, “Some terms and conditions […]

The post Money = Freedom? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(3541) "

Money equals freedom. You have enough money, and you can do whatever you want. We all know that, right? Work hard so that you can get a good job so that you can make money so that you can do whatever you want.

As my 12-year old son loves to say, “Some terms and conditions apply.” Well, the terms and conditions on the above statement are this: you can only do what you want in the evenings and on week-ends, when you aren’t busy in the evenings volunteering to maintain your image and working around the house most week-ends to maintain your stuff. Freedom starts at the age of 65, if qualified.

You’re here because you’ve already called bullshit on that one…But, on the other hand, you’re still reading this from your cubicle, under blinking fluorescent lights because there’s still a part of you that calls BS on these life designers and trail blazers who can just quit their jobs and don’t have to pay bills or something and they just don’t understand the realities of your life.

So how can YOU (not those other guys) have freedom too?

Define Freedom

What does freedom mean to you? (A quick google image search seems to suggest that freedom is all about jumping in fields, so you may be closer that you think!) If freedom some vague feeling that you’ll know when it hits you, I’m going to challenge you to really define it. I’m also going to ask you to leave out the MegaMillions lottery commercials that are starting to play in your head.

Is freedom not answering to anyone else? Is it making your own choices? Great. Now get more concrete: is it not even owning a suit much less wearing one? Is it working from home? Is it traveling with the family two months a year? Is it living in a yurt on a little island the Pacific?

For me, freedom is: being at home with my daughter until she is old enough for school; choosing the schools that my older boys go to; working from home; exploring the world with my kids; doing what I love; raising my children with the values that I believe in; eating what my body wants; having a balance of work and pleasure.

But you’re stuck right now, so you probably don’t want me to point out that I if that is freedom to me, that I already am free, that I can do most of those things without money. You want to hear me talk about the important stuff, the money stuff, right?

Freedom is a Choice

Well, going to work is a choice you make every day. It’s something that you choose because you want it. You are free to leave any time. Your job is something that you created in your life. I know, you work to pay your bills. But you are choosing the bills too. If you don’t want to pay the cable bill, then cancel the cable. It’s that easy. I know because I cancelled the cable. And the landline. And gave up the latte habit too.

Maybe you can’t quit your job, because, yes, there is a certain amount of bills that we all have, that we all want: food and some sort of roof over our heads. But much after that comes down to what we are choosing – using our freedom of choice! – because it’s what we want. Or maybe it’s just what we thought we wanted…

Challenge your assumptions.

Challenge your priorities.

Challenge your freedom.

The post Money = Freedom? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(57) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/10/money-freedom/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(503) "

Money equals freedom. You have enough money, and you can do whatever you want. We all know that, right? Work hard so that you can get a good job so that you can make money so that you can do whatever you want. As my 12-year old son loves to say, “Some terms and conditions […]

The post Money = Freedom? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(3541) "

Money equals freedom. You have enough money, and you can do whatever you want. We all know that, right? Work hard so that you can get a good job so that you can make money so that you can do whatever you want.

As my 12-year old son loves to say, “Some terms and conditions apply.” Well, the terms and conditions on the above statement are this: you can only do what you want in the evenings and on week-ends, when you aren’t busy in the evenings volunteering to maintain your image and working around the house most week-ends to maintain your stuff. Freedom starts at the age of 65, if qualified.

You’re here because you’ve already called bullshit on that one…But, on the other hand, you’re still reading this from your cubicle, under blinking fluorescent lights because there’s still a part of you that calls BS on these life designers and trail blazers who can just quit their jobs and don’t have to pay bills or something and they just don’t understand the realities of your life.

So how can YOU (not those other guys) have freedom too?

Define Freedom

What does freedom mean to you? (A quick google image search seems to suggest that freedom is all about jumping in fields, so you may be closer that you think!) If freedom some vague feeling that you’ll know when it hits you, I’m going to challenge you to really define it. I’m also going to ask you to leave out the MegaMillions lottery commercials that are starting to play in your head.

Is freedom not answering to anyone else? Is it making your own choices? Great. Now get more concrete: is it not even owning a suit much less wearing one? Is it working from home? Is it traveling with the family two months a year? Is it living in a yurt on a little island the Pacific?

For me, freedom is: being at home with my daughter until she is old enough for school; choosing the schools that my older boys go to; working from home; exploring the world with my kids; doing what I love; raising my children with the values that I believe in; eating what my body wants; having a balance of work and pleasure.

But you’re stuck right now, so you probably don’t want me to point out that I if that is freedom to me, that I already am free, that I can do most of those things without money. You want to hear me talk about the important stuff, the money stuff, right?

Freedom is a Choice

Well, going to work is a choice you make every day. It’s something that you choose because you want it. You are free to leave any time. Your job is something that you created in your life. I know, you work to pay your bills. But you are choosing the bills too. If you don’t want to pay the cable bill, then cancel the cable. It’s that easy. I know because I cancelled the cable. And the landline. And gave up the latte habit too.

Maybe you can’t quit your job, because, yes, there is a certain amount of bills that we all have, that we all want: food and some sort of roof over our heads. But much after that comes down to what we are choosing – using our freedom of choice! – because it’s what we want. Or maybe it’s just what we thought we wanted…

Challenge your assumptions.

Challenge your priorities.

Challenge your freedom.

The post Money = Freedom? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1620659073) } [6]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(26) "5 Tips for Dating Casually" ["link"]=> string(65) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/10/5-tips-for-dating-casually/" ["comments"]=> string(73) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/10/5-tips-for-dating-casually/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 10 May 2021 14:52:20 +0000" ["category"]=> string(13) "Dating Advice" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=7537" ["description"]=> string(559) "

Casual dating allows you to be with someone without being in a serious relationship. You may be seeing each other but there is no attachment and there is no label that you are boyfriend and girlfriend. There’s also a chance that it could develop into a commitment over time. You may get your dates through […]

The post 5 Tips for Dating Casually appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(3559) "

Casual dating allows you to be with someone without being in a serious relationship. You may be seeing each other but there is no attachment and there is no label that you are boyfriend and girlfriend. There’s also a chance that it could develop into a commitment over time. You may get your dates through mutual friends, social gatherings, and clubs. Dating apps are also popular nowadays.

If you and your date are on the same page, you can also have casual sex. If the experience is good, there’s a chance that you can continue to see each other. There are products from The Male Libido that can help ensure that sex will be pleasurable. These include pills that will make the penis longer and bigger. Some pills can increase your semen volume making it more satisfying for your partner. Not everyone may be open to having sex on a casual date, but if it’s consensual, then there’s nothing wrong with it. Be sure to use condoms to stay protected. Here are some tips to consider if you plan to go on casual dates.

Be clear about your status

You and the other person must be clear about the situation. She should know from day one that you are only into dating casually, and that you are not yet ready to commit to a serious relationship. It will give her a chance to walk away if it’s something that she is not into or sail along if she also likes the idea of it.

Date other people

Casual dating is also a way to explore and test the waters before you dive into the next level of your relationship. Since there is no commitment, you are free to see other people. It will let you get to know them more without feeling guilty. You may even find the person who will finally make you decide to go serious and date exclusively.

Avoid dating people you often see

It refers to people who may be in your neighborhood, in the same circle, at school or workplace. If the time comes that you don’t want to see them anymore, it will be difficult to move separate ways if you keep seeing each other. It will be easier to let go and forget about it if you do not see each other.

Keep it private

Many couples post about their relationship on social media. Hold the thoughts of doing that if you are casually dating, since you are not officially together. Other people might have a misconception about it. If they think that you are in a serious relationship, both of you may lose the chance of meeting others, who could be the one for you.

Do not be clingy

Casual dates can go on for a long time, and when this happens, the boundaries can get confusing. However, be sure to remind yourself about your agreement in the first place, and avoid being clingy or too invested. That’s of course unless you both decide to make it official.

Casual dating can be tricky and it may not fit everyone. However, if you decide to try it, remember the tips above to make it smooth sailing.

The post 5 Tips for Dating Casually appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(70) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/10/5-tips-for-dating-casually/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(559) "

Casual dating allows you to be with someone without being in a serious relationship. You may be seeing each other but there is no attachment and there is no label that you are boyfriend and girlfriend. There’s also a chance that it could develop into a commitment over time. You may get your dates through […]

The post 5 Tips for Dating Casually appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(3559) "

Casual dating allows you to be with someone without being in a serious relationship. You may be seeing each other but there is no attachment and there is no label that you are boyfriend and girlfriend. There’s also a chance that it could develop into a commitment over time. You may get your dates through mutual friends, social gatherings, and clubs. Dating apps are also popular nowadays.

If you and your date are on the same page, you can also have casual sex. If the experience is good, there’s a chance that you can continue to see each other. There are products from The Male Libido that can help ensure that sex will be pleasurable. These include pills that will make the penis longer and bigger. Some pills can increase your semen volume making it more satisfying for your partner. Not everyone may be open to having sex on a casual date, but if it’s consensual, then there’s nothing wrong with it. Be sure to use condoms to stay protected. Here are some tips to consider if you plan to go on casual dates.

Be clear about your status

You and the other person must be clear about the situation. She should know from day one that you are only into dating casually, and that you are not yet ready to commit to a serious relationship. It will give her a chance to walk away if it’s something that she is not into or sail along if she also likes the idea of it.

Date other people

Casual dating is also a way to explore and test the waters before you dive into the next level of your relationship. Since there is no commitment, you are free to see other people. It will let you get to know them more without feeling guilty. You may even find the person who will finally make you decide to go serious and date exclusively.

Avoid dating people you often see

It refers to people who may be in your neighborhood, in the same circle, at school or workplace. If the time comes that you don’t want to see them anymore, it will be difficult to move separate ways if you keep seeing each other. It will be easier to let go and forget about it if you do not see each other.

Keep it private

Many couples post about their relationship on social media. Hold the thoughts of doing that if you are casually dating, since you are not officially together. Other people might have a misconception about it. If they think that you are in a serious relationship, both of you may lose the chance of meeting others, who could be the one for you.

Do not be clingy

Casual dates can go on for a long time, and when this happens, the boundaries can get confusing. However, be sure to remind yourself about your agreement in the first place, and avoid being clingy or too invested. That’s of course unless you both decide to make it official.

Casual dating can be tricky and it may not fit everyone. However, if you decide to try it, remember the tips above to make it smooth sailing.

The post 5 Tips for Dating Casually appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1620658340) } [7]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(27) "How To Befriend Your Dragon" ["link"]=> string(66) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/03/how-to-befriend-your-dragon/" ["comments"]=> string(74) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/03/how-to-befriend-your-dragon/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(13) "J. T. Ellison" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 03 May 2021 15:29:00 +0000" ["category"]=> string(96) "Personal GrowthdreamsfearsOwning YouSelf-Actualizationself-confidenceself-esteemself-fulfillment" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=7519" ["description"]=> string(588) "

I Imagined Her Well The way her blubbered skin stretched over a fluid spine. How her back had been blackened by basement dust and grim assumptions. Evanescent scales caught the light of my laptop, reflecting the full spectrum of the rainbow before they settled back to a chartreuse. Her bulk was overwhelming, blue whale overwhelming, […]

The post How To Befriend Your Dragon appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(5140) "

I Imagined Her Well

The way her blubbered skin stretched over a fluid spine. How her back had been blackened by basement dust and grim assumptions. Evanescent scales caught the light of my laptop, reflecting the full spectrum of the rainbow before they settled back to a chartreuse. Her bulk was overwhelming, blue whale overwhelming, Hoover Dam overwhelming. Like a disposable camera, my eyes had to chunk her into segments.

Sensing my slim presence, she set her body in motion, disentangling part by part: clawed paws, spiky neck, thorny tail, whip whiskers, soppy nose. The first time we look upon our dragon we see only its lethal parts. Similar to looking down the muzzle of a gun and failing to notice the luminous shine of the cherry wood stock.

Fear masks the beauty of a thing.

My dragon unraveled before me and though I had felt small before I was impotent now.  I was a wee bit of a woman whose middle name was Lynn instead of Courage. I had come to this battle with a laptop, a notebook, and a chai latte for weapons. We humans are impossibly gifted at confusing optimism for wisdom.

I must tell you of her eyes, like orchid light shifting behind smoky soot. Not soulless, but soul daring. Eyes that tighten the chest and hurt the heart.

Looming over my prize, my life dream, she challenged me to take it. Go ahead and try! Circling, she thumped me upside my head with the very tip of her tail. My eyes popped twin waterfalls as my frame shook. I almost ran back up the stairs into the August afternoon sun.

Almost.

Lesson 1– Once you’ve looked upon your dragon, never turn your back on it again.

I Challenged Her Well

I returned to her almost every day for years until time lost its potency. Sitting on the last step in the dim light of the staircase I fought my dragon. Not in the way of a knight but in the manner of a mouse, stealing one word at a time from beneath my dragon’s vast weight.

She growled, (as every proper dragon should) threatening me with fear-full nonsense. You are incapableungifted and naïve!

I was naïve and have thanked the gods for it!  If I had known how long it takes a mouse to steal a block of cheese I would have given up on my dream for a clean house, a secure job and golf lessons. But I wanted my dream more than I wanted my securityI wanted the risk of getting burned more than I wanted the peace of mediocrity! My first laptop died, then my second and still I continued typing until my knuckles throbbed and my battery fried.

Lesson 2: Determination is the armor your dragon cannot breach.

I Friended Her Well

My dragon nibbled her loose lips as her prize diminished. As I grew more confident she grew restless and alert. Venturing closer, I would swipe entire sentences from beneath her as she huffed her fiery puffs. I no longer heard her guttural warnings over the tapping of my fingers. The violet light in her eyes dimmed against the glow of my screen. I gave up my hard, wooden seat to perch between two, warm claws.

Eventually, the day came when I found her slack tail coiled around the last of my dream. I stood before her, one hand holding my laptop as the other clutched my chai. “I created you when I created my dream. You thought you were the embodiment of my fear, my lack, my uncertainty, my belief that if I fail to realize my dream I am pointless. You’ve lost your power over me because I know now that I am SO much more than every aspiration I will ever have.” She raised her broad snout, blowing a sloppy goo over me. Her tail rose, uncoiling like an overused garden hose to reveal the very meat of my treasure. It was not a finished book, but a true treasure: self-actualization. My dragon was a catalyst. Sometimes our gifts must be horded by another before we see it as a treasure.

I gave my clever dragon a goofy grin, “If it wasn’t for you I’d be one fantastic and utterly miserable golfer by now. I’d be clutching my bitter dreams without the courage to live them out.” I tapped the edge of my laptop against her giving hide, “Thank you, Dragon! When I look upon your slivered teeth I will remember that I am more than the things I aspire to accomplish. When I sit between your shiny claws I will remember who created them and who sustains them.” She nuzzled my laptop, scraping her thorny whiskers over its metal casing in a jarring screech. “You know, once you get past the scorching breath, the freaky eyes and the sour scent, it’s kind of nice to have a dragon lurking in your basement.”

Lesson 3– When you befriend your dragon you gain your true treasure.

The post How To Befriend Your Dragon appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(71) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/03/how-to-befriend-your-dragon/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(588) "

I Imagined Her Well The way her blubbered skin stretched over a fluid spine. How her back had been blackened by basement dust and grim assumptions. Evanescent scales caught the light of my laptop, reflecting the full spectrum of the rainbow before they settled back to a chartreuse. Her bulk was overwhelming, blue whale overwhelming, […]

The post How To Befriend Your Dragon appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(5140) "

I Imagined Her Well

The way her blubbered skin stretched over a fluid spine. How her back had been blackened by basement dust and grim assumptions. Evanescent scales caught the light of my laptop, reflecting the full spectrum of the rainbow before they settled back to a chartreuse. Her bulk was overwhelming, blue whale overwhelming, Hoover Dam overwhelming. Like a disposable camera, my eyes had to chunk her into segments.

Sensing my slim presence, she set her body in motion, disentangling part by part: clawed paws, spiky neck, thorny tail, whip whiskers, soppy nose. The first time we look upon our dragon we see only its lethal parts. Similar to looking down the muzzle of a gun and failing to notice the luminous shine of the cherry wood stock.

Fear masks the beauty of a thing.

My dragon unraveled before me and though I had felt small before I was impotent now.  I was a wee bit of a woman whose middle name was Lynn instead of Courage. I had come to this battle with a laptop, a notebook, and a chai latte for weapons. We humans are impossibly gifted at confusing optimism for wisdom.

I must tell you of her eyes, like orchid light shifting behind smoky soot. Not soulless, but soul daring. Eyes that tighten the chest and hurt the heart.

Looming over my prize, my life dream, she challenged me to take it. Go ahead and try! Circling, she thumped me upside my head with the very tip of her tail. My eyes popped twin waterfalls as my frame shook. I almost ran back up the stairs into the August afternoon sun.

Almost.

Lesson 1– Once you’ve looked upon your dragon, never turn your back on it again.

I Challenged Her Well

I returned to her almost every day for years until time lost its potency. Sitting on the last step in the dim light of the staircase I fought my dragon. Not in the way of a knight but in the manner of a mouse, stealing one word at a time from beneath my dragon’s vast weight.

She growled, (as every proper dragon should) threatening me with fear-full nonsense. You are incapableungifted and naïve!

I was naïve and have thanked the gods for it!  If I had known how long it takes a mouse to steal a block of cheese I would have given up on my dream for a clean house, a secure job and golf lessons. But I wanted my dream more than I wanted my securityI wanted the risk of getting burned more than I wanted the peace of mediocrity! My first laptop died, then my second and still I continued typing until my knuckles throbbed and my battery fried.

Lesson 2: Determination is the armor your dragon cannot breach.

I Friended Her Well

My dragon nibbled her loose lips as her prize diminished. As I grew more confident she grew restless and alert. Venturing closer, I would swipe entire sentences from beneath her as she huffed her fiery puffs. I no longer heard her guttural warnings over the tapping of my fingers. The violet light in her eyes dimmed against the glow of my screen. I gave up my hard, wooden seat to perch between two, warm claws.

Eventually, the day came when I found her slack tail coiled around the last of my dream. I stood before her, one hand holding my laptop as the other clutched my chai. “I created you when I created my dream. You thought you were the embodiment of my fear, my lack, my uncertainty, my belief that if I fail to realize my dream I am pointless. You’ve lost your power over me because I know now that I am SO much more than every aspiration I will ever have.” She raised her broad snout, blowing a sloppy goo over me. Her tail rose, uncoiling like an overused garden hose to reveal the very meat of my treasure. It was not a finished book, but a true treasure: self-actualization. My dragon was a catalyst. Sometimes our gifts must be horded by another before we see it as a treasure.

I gave my clever dragon a goofy grin, “If it wasn’t for you I’d be one fantastic and utterly miserable golfer by now. I’d be clutching my bitter dreams without the courage to live them out.” I tapped the edge of my laptop against her giving hide, “Thank you, Dragon! When I look upon your slivered teeth I will remember that I am more than the things I aspire to accomplish. When I sit between your shiny claws I will remember who created them and who sustains them.” She nuzzled my laptop, scraping her thorny whiskers over its metal casing in a jarring screech. “You know, once you get past the scorching breath, the freaky eyes and the sour scent, it’s kind of nice to have a dragon lurking in your basement.”

Lesson 3– When you befriend your dragon you gain your true treasure.

The post How To Befriend Your Dragon appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1620055740) } [8]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(23) "What It Takes To Matter" ["link"]=> string(62) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/03/what-it-takes-to-matter/" ["comments"]=> string(70) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/03/what-it-takes-to-matter/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(13) "J. T. Ellison" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 03 May 2021 15:22:12 +0000" ["category"]=> string(68) "Personal Growthpassionquotesself loveself worthself-esteemWorkaholic" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=7514" ["description"]=> string(529) "

Do you matter? Just you, without the people you love, the resume in your hard drive, the accolades you have framed on your wall, the trophies on your shelf or the selfies in your phone? If you spent your entire life propped on a porch, naked to the world in mind body and soul, would […]

The post What It Takes To Matter appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(5157) "

Do you matter? Just you, without the people you love, the resume in your hard drive, the accolades you have framed on your wall, the trophies on your shelf or the selfies in your phone? If you spent your entire life propped on a porch, naked to the world in mind body and soul, would you possess value?

It’s a heavy question and my guess is most of us would argue that basic existence is not enough. That our actions (or inaction) define our value.

The Doing

I’ve never been afraid of death. Never. The fear I favored was that of the “Unaccomplished Life”.  It goes something like this: I came here for a purpose and if I don’t accomplish this Mighty Task my life will be a failure. Basically, it’s a fear that we must discover our life purpose and go about getting it done or our time here is wasted. We don’t fear the gates of hell as much as we fear the life review. Our goal in the end is to have a red checkmark stamped upon our grave as the Angel of Judgment hollers, “Halleluiah human! You did what you came to do.” Our greatest fear is that we have to come back and repeat this same life again until we get ‘er done. Our Hell is reliving the seventh grade, over and over and over again until the Mighty Task is accomplished {shivers}.

I suspect this same fear drives most workaholics. When you have no idea what your Mighty Task is you spend your waking hours in a frantic state of accomplishment. A workaholic’s prayer goes something like this, “God, I know I’m here for a reason but have no idea what it is. If You could get it on my To Do List I promise I will never slack off again.” The typical response to this prayer is silence. So we stay busy and do our best to “make it happen”. The only thing a workaholic knows for sure is that what we accomplish makes us matter.

The Being

If a child is born, takes one breath and dies, did they matter? If a woman spends her life curled up behind a book, never leaving her hermit shell, does she matter? If a CEO builds a fortress of a company and packs the stock holders pockets full of gold but never commits one act of kindness, does she matter? If a man does nothing more than drink himself into a permanent shadow on a city sidewalk, does he matter?

Who sets the bar? Is it different for each us? And when, when, is it enough? How much do we have to do before we feel we matter? I have yet to see a status update or a tweet that read, “Yesterday I finally accomplished enough to matter. I’m officially on downtime for the rest of my life.”

There’s some heavy wisdom out there telling us what matters;

There it is, the wisdom that’s been driving many of us into a state of frenzied madness. Did you notice how subjective all of these quotes are? It’s up to us to decide when we matter.

The Mattering

Here’s my own bit of wisdom: if we are conscious, we matter. That’s it. That we exist as a coordinated, highly functional, intricate being is all it takes to qualify. Anything above and beyond that is the drama on our stage, the outtakes, the whipped topping, the bonus material.

Can you imagine such an existence?

You exist, “I matter”.

You are born, “I still matter”.

You live, “Yep, that’s me mattering”.

You die, “Still mattering”.

What a fanatical equalizer, an existence with no lacking, no judgment, no precursors, no Mighty Tasks. A life where surviving seventh grade once is more than enough.

Can you imagine?

The post What It Takes To Matter appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Do you matter? Just you, without the people you love, the resume in your hard drive, the accolades you have framed on your wall, the trophies on your shelf or the selfies in your phone? If you spent your entire life propped on a porch, naked to the world in mind body and soul, would […]

The post What It Takes To Matter appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(5157) "

Do you matter? Just you, without the people you love, the resume in your hard drive, the accolades you have framed on your wall, the trophies on your shelf or the selfies in your phone? If you spent your entire life propped on a porch, naked to the world in mind body and soul, would you possess value?

It’s a heavy question and my guess is most of us would argue that basic existence is not enough. That our actions (or inaction) define our value.

The Doing

I’ve never been afraid of death. Never. The fear I favored was that of the “Unaccomplished Life”.  It goes something like this: I came here for a purpose and if I don’t accomplish this Mighty Task my life will be a failure. Basically, it’s a fear that we must discover our life purpose and go about getting it done or our time here is wasted. We don’t fear the gates of hell as much as we fear the life review. Our goal in the end is to have a red checkmark stamped upon our grave as the Angel of Judgment hollers, “Halleluiah human! You did what you came to do.” Our greatest fear is that we have to come back and repeat this same life again until we get ‘er done. Our Hell is reliving the seventh grade, over and over and over again until the Mighty Task is accomplished {shivers}.

I suspect this same fear drives most workaholics. When you have no idea what your Mighty Task is you spend your waking hours in a frantic state of accomplishment. A workaholic’s prayer goes something like this, “God, I know I’m here for a reason but have no idea what it is. If You could get it on my To Do List I promise I will never slack off again.” The typical response to this prayer is silence. So we stay busy and do our best to “make it happen”. The only thing a workaholic knows for sure is that what we accomplish makes us matter.

The Being

If a child is born, takes one breath and dies, did they matter? If a woman spends her life curled up behind a book, never leaving her hermit shell, does she matter? If a CEO builds a fortress of a company and packs the stock holders pockets full of gold but never commits one act of kindness, does she matter? If a man does nothing more than drink himself into a permanent shadow on a city sidewalk, does he matter?

Who sets the bar? Is it different for each us? And when, when, is it enough? How much do we have to do before we feel we matter? I have yet to see a status update or a tweet that read, “Yesterday I finally accomplished enough to matter. I’m officially on downtime for the rest of my life.”

There’s some heavy wisdom out there telling us what matters;

There it is, the wisdom that’s been driving many of us into a state of frenzied madness. Did you notice how subjective all of these quotes are? It’s up to us to decide when we matter.

The Mattering

Here’s my own bit of wisdom: if we are conscious, we matter. That’s it. That we exist as a coordinated, highly functional, intricate being is all it takes to qualify. Anything above and beyond that is the drama on our stage, the outtakes, the whipped topping, the bonus material.

Can you imagine such an existence?

You exist, “I matter”.

You are born, “I still matter”.

You live, “Yep, that’s me mattering”.

You die, “Still mattering”.

What a fanatical equalizer, an existence with no lacking, no judgment, no precursors, no Mighty Tasks. A life where surviving seventh grade once is more than enough.

Can you imagine?

The post What It Takes To Matter appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1620055332) } [9]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(51) "Friends With Benefits–And How To Know You Are One" ["link"]=> string(88) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/03/friends-with-benefits-and-how-to-know-you-are-one/" ["comments"]=> string(96) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/03/friends-with-benefits-and-how-to-know-you-are-one/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(10) "Andrew Tch" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 03 May 2021 14:06:50 +0000" ["category"]=> string(19) "Relationship Advice" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=7511" ["description"]=> string(618) "

I am twenty-seven years old and I’m in a very loving relationship.  However, during my late teens and early twenties, I was one of the first  victims  ladies to have experienced the  whole fwb phenomenon. (I blame Dean Winters’ appearance in Sex And The City for this.) So many of my girl friends have come to […]

The post Friends With Benefits–And How To Know You Are One appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(6174) "

I am twenty-seven years old and I’m in a very loving relationship.  However, during my late teens and early twenties, I was one of the first  victims  ladies to have experienced the  whole fwb phenomenon. (I blame Dean Winters’ appearance in Sex And The City for this.)

So many of my girl friends have come to me for dating advice on this very subject and yet all the solutions have been addressed, my friends still make these same self-destructive mistakes.  I always thought it was a trend that would have gone out of style like Tamagotchi–but alas, the FWB trend has only gotten more popular.  Movies like No Strings Attached and Friends With Benefits have not only glamorized the phenomenon, they have also deluded women everywhere that it is feasible to end up in a loving relationship with men that use them for sex.

HA!

It’s a shame that so many online romance blogs are devoted to covering this very subject day after day and it’s even worse that I am conforming to writing about this over talked about trend. However, I realized that although so many young women out there are still getting hurt everyday because of this and if I can just get through to one love lorn girl, then this blog would be worth it.

That is why today I am going to share my wisdom with ladies today. Please be warned girls that this is something you probably don’t want to read, and something I would NEVER say to you in your face for the fear of you crying or calling me a self-righteous bitch, but the reason why I want to say this is because the truth is better than hearing a sugar coated lie, because the end result is never sweet.

So you slept with him….What are the signs he’s not interested in a relationship with you?

 1.  If he calls you from an Unknown Number….and you still don’t have his number.

 2.  He doesn’t introduce you to his friends as your girlfriend…or better yet, he doesn’t introduce you to his friends PERIOD.

 3. The only places you go to are to his house, or your house, (this includes cars if houses are not available) and if you’re going out, it’s always somewhere where neither of you will bump into people you know.

4. If you are the one who asked him out. 9 times out of 10, FWB relationships are initiated from the woman.  It’s a harsh pill to swallow, but these are the facts.  When I think about the times I got stuck in this now timeless scenario, I realized it was me. 

5.  If you’re always the one calling or texting. Guys are known as being the pursuers and if they’re not texting or calling you, it’s generally because you’re not a priority to them. Believe me, if he’s serious about you, he’ll call you too.

 6. If He asks you to meet at a bar or (fill in the blank’s) house.  Do not be fooled. This is NOT a date.

 7. If he says he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship..IT’S A LIE!!  A total, utter, lie.  Men really don’t care about ruining the friendship through sex.  So if he’s perfectly okay with the sex part, and not the relationship part….you are nothing more than his fwb buddy.

 8.  If you find yourself having tantalizing and dirty phone calls with him, yet he never really suggests to go out with you in PERSON…you are nothing more than his PHONE fwb buddy.

But the most popular excuse is……….IF he uses the whole “I’ve been hurt and I’m not ready for a relationship” excuse.  Girls, this should sound familiar, because we use it too!!!! What he’s really trying to say is that he’s not ready to be in a relationship with YOU.  Either he doesn’t want to commit, or he’s looking for something else.  This is the playas’ line of choice.

OUCH…I know it’s hard to actually think of being rejected by someone you thought you really could get serious with, but this is the truth.  Any girl who says any different is in denial.  If he is doing any of the things I wrote above then YOU ARE NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND.

Again, I know I might sound harsh, but it pisses me off when girls waste their time on someone who can’t even see their brilliance and beauty, when they could really be spending  their time with someone who does see everything good in them. Think about it: FWB relationships don’t start out of the blue.  The reason why so many women sleep with these guys is because they want them to like them. We all have some form of female intuition. If something doesn’t feel right, then it’s probably not. Throwing yourself at someone who you know has rejected you emotionally will only hurt you in the long run.

If you’re currently going through this situation right now, just remember this one phrase and REALLY think about it.  “Deal with men for how they are, and not how you would like them to be.”  I hope I was able to shed light on this subject and again sorry for sounding like a bitch, but I’ve been through this before, and I hate seeing others go through it too.

The post Friends With Benefits–And How To Know You Are One appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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I am twenty-seven years old and I’m in a very loving relationship.  However, during my late teens and early twenties, I was one of the first  victims  ladies to have experienced the  whole fwb phenomenon. (I blame Dean Winters’ appearance in Sex And The City for this.) So many of my girl friends have come to […]

The post Friends With Benefits–And How To Know You Are One appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(6174) "

I am twenty-seven years old and I’m in a very loving relationship.  However, during my late teens and early twenties, I was one of the first  victims  ladies to have experienced the  whole fwb phenomenon. (I blame Dean Winters’ appearance in Sex And The City for this.)

So many of my girl friends have come to me for dating advice on this very subject and yet all the solutions have been addressed, my friends still make these same self-destructive mistakes.  I always thought it was a trend that would have gone out of style like Tamagotchi–but alas, the FWB trend has only gotten more popular.  Movies like No Strings Attached and Friends With Benefits have not only glamorized the phenomenon, they have also deluded women everywhere that it is feasible to end up in a loving relationship with men that use them for sex.

HA!

It’s a shame that so many online romance blogs are devoted to covering this very subject day after day and it’s even worse that I am conforming to writing about this over talked about trend. However, I realized that although so many young women out there are still getting hurt everyday because of this and if I can just get through to one love lorn girl, then this blog would be worth it.

That is why today I am going to share my wisdom with ladies today. Please be warned girls that this is something you probably don’t want to read, and something I would NEVER say to you in your face for the fear of you crying or calling me a self-righteous bitch, but the reason why I want to say this is because the truth is better than hearing a sugar coated lie, because the end result is never sweet.

So you slept with him….What are the signs he’s not interested in a relationship with you?

 1.  If he calls you from an Unknown Number….and you still don’t have his number.

 2.  He doesn’t introduce you to his friends as your girlfriend…or better yet, he doesn’t introduce you to his friends PERIOD.

 3. The only places you go to are to his house, or your house, (this includes cars if houses are not available) and if you’re going out, it’s always somewhere where neither of you will bump into people you know.

4. If you are the one who asked him out. 9 times out of 10, FWB relationships are initiated from the woman.  It’s a harsh pill to swallow, but these are the facts.  When I think about the times I got stuck in this now timeless scenario, I realized it was me. 

5.  If you’re always the one calling or texting. Guys are known as being the pursuers and if they’re not texting or calling you, it’s generally because you’re not a priority to them. Believe me, if he’s serious about you, he’ll call you too.

 6. If He asks you to meet at a bar or (fill in the blank’s) house.  Do not be fooled. This is NOT a date.

 7. If he says he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship..IT’S A LIE!!  A total, utter, lie.  Men really don’t care about ruining the friendship through sex.  So if he’s perfectly okay with the sex part, and not the relationship part….you are nothing more than his fwb buddy.

 8.  If you find yourself having tantalizing and dirty phone calls with him, yet he never really suggests to go out with you in PERSON…you are nothing more than his PHONE fwb buddy.

But the most popular excuse is……….IF he uses the whole “I’ve been hurt and I’m not ready for a relationship” excuse.  Girls, this should sound familiar, because we use it too!!!! What he’s really trying to say is that he’s not ready to be in a relationship with YOU.  Either he doesn’t want to commit, or he’s looking for something else.  This is the playas’ line of choice.

OUCH…I know it’s hard to actually think of being rejected by someone you thought you really could get serious with, but this is the truth.  Any girl who says any different is in denial.  If he is doing any of the things I wrote above then YOU ARE NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND.

Again, I know I might sound harsh, but it pisses me off when girls waste their time on someone who can’t even see their brilliance and beauty, when they could really be spending  their time with someone who does see everything good in them. Think about it: FWB relationships don’t start out of the blue.  The reason why so many women sleep with these guys is because they want them to like them. We all have some form of female intuition. If something doesn’t feel right, then it’s probably not. Throwing yourself at someone who you know has rejected you emotionally will only hurt you in the long run.

If you’re currently going through this situation right now, just remember this one phrase and REALLY think about it.  “Deal with men for how they are, and not how you would like them to be.”  I hope I was able to shed light on this subject and again sorry for sounding like a bitch, but I’ve been through this before, and I hate seeing others go through it too.

The post Friends With Benefits–And How To Know You Are One appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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